Friday, November 6, 2009

Top Ten Best Selling NFL Jerseys

The art of choosing the right jersey is definitely a tricky one. Much like buying a car, you have to consider many factors.

How many years am I going to get out this? You have to think about the player's relationship with the team and if he's going to be around town for a while. You have to consider age and whether or not they might be the kind of guy to jump ship for a bigger contract. Because let's face it, there's nothing more embarrassing than buying a jersey and then the guy immediately skips town...

How can I stand out from the crowd? Yeah, you can pick one of the guys from the list below and be like everyone else. Or maybe you could blaze your own trail and pick someone few others have. I bought a Steelers Larry Foote jersey, and the guy didn't miss a game over the next 4 years of me owning the jersey. Even though he was a mediocre player, it made every sack, tackle, or interception that much more awesome because Larry Foote was doing it. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, so I suggest you pick a player that's right for you.

There are other serious questions to consider before committing to a player, but my last point was a good segway. The following list is the Top 10 most marketable atheletes. For some reason, everyone is buying their jerseys, and I'm going to try and tell you why. It's important to remember that these are the top ten best selling THIS year, and are projected to remain the Top Ten through the end of this season.

10. LaDanian Tomlinson

It's laughable that LDT is still in the top ten. Fairweather fans love to make the easy pick and select a popular offensive player, and that's all he really is. He's old, injury-prone, and just flat out terrible. It's no secret that Rivers is that star of that team now, so it's amazing that Tomlinson is still the most popular. When Fat Bettis started declining, do you think intelligent Pittsburgh fans kept buying his jersey?!?!? NO!!! The truth is San Diego has a big population, but they care more about the beach then they do about football. They don't care enough to invest in a real jersey. THUMBS DOWN.
WHO I'D BUY INSTEAD: Antonio Gates

9. Adrian Peterson

The reigning running champ and #1 fantasy stud, AP should really be 5 spots higher on the list. You might think that people don't want an ugly purple jersey, but the truth is Minnesota is plagued by stupid fans. You see, AP would be much higher on this list, but stupid yokels chose to buy a different Minnesota jersey instead...

8. Troy Polamalu

The only defensive player to make this list, Polamalu is an easy person to like. He's constantly praised as one of the top safeties in the league, he's still young, he's got long term plans in Pittsburgh, and he's on the cover of Madden. If you bought a Troy jersey before the Steelers started winning Super Bowls, you're probably a little peeved that everyone else has one now, but I'll give credit to anyone who bucks the trend and avoids a QB.

7. Peyton Manning

If your a Colts fan, you think he's top QB of all time. If you're anyone else, you think he's an overmarketed, boring hayseed that should be remembered as a guy that should have won more than one Super Bowl. I'll concede that Manning is a consistent all-star, and definitely one of the all-time greats, but if doesn't win another Super Bowl, I'd say his career is ultimately disappointing.

6. Reggie Bush

WHAT!?!?! Ok, I can understand morons buying a Reggie Bust jersey after he won the Heisman and was paraded into New Orleans, but he has down absolutely NOTHING on the field since then. He's probably less famous than his fatass fame whore ex-girlfriend, and that's saying something. So why are people still buying his jersey? I suppose it's because the Saints are 7-0, and much like the other Saints team of recent memory, I'd say they're overrated and overrhyped. Since stupid fans enjoy the overhyped, they choose Bush.
WHO I'D BUY INSTEAD: Darren Sharper

5. Brett Favre

Whatever. I'm sick of Favre. The Steelers proved that if you solely rely on his 80 year old arm, you'll lose. All you millions of people that buy this jersey are retarded. He'll probably be gone next year, and then your jersey will just be stupid and you'll never wear it.
WHO I'D BUY INSTEAD: Adrian Peterson

4. Mark Sanchez

There's no way I can conceivably defend this pick. The only person on this list that's worse is Reggie Bush. If, 4 years from now, Mark Sanchez isn't any better and people still buy his jersey, then he would be as bad as Bush. Jets fans are fickle and want to believe this guy can lead the franchise. It's okay being desperate, but there are better options out there.

3. Ben Roethlisberger

Huge Ben Ruthlessberger is a two-time champ, and no matter how much people want to knock him, he's an elite QB in the NFL. Ok, so maybe he's a jerk, and maybe he raped a girl, and he's dumb for riding motorcycles without helmets, but so what? He's a one-of-a-kind franchise QB leading the greatest team in football history. Since I made the mistake of buying Willie Parker's jersey after Super Bowl XL and he's probably leaving town after this year, I might cave and buy Big Ben just like everyone else.

2. Eli Manning

I get it; the biggest market in the country, the fact that he recently KO'ed asshole Brady (who you won't find on this list) for a big Super Bowl victory, and he's a high-profile QB. My knock against Eli is that he's quiet and inconsistent. But really, who else is there in NY? I wouldn't trust taking a receiver after the Plax incident. Brandon Jacobs is having a bad year, and the big bad defense is no more. If you're a Giants fan, it's smart to go with the safe pick here.

1. Tony Romo

I hate Romo-san. The critics hate him too. He's only popular because he's the Dallas Cowboys QB and he's alright in the regular season. Remember last year when the big debate was "Okay, Brady and Manning are 1-2. Who would you put 3, Roethlisberger or Romo?" Hah! What a joke. Big Ben went on to capture his 2nd ring, and Tony Romeo went on vacation before the season was over. If you must cheer for America's team, I highly suggest DeMarcus Ware, instead.

BONUS: At the beginning of the season, Favre's Vikings jersey was number one, and MICHAEL VICK's Eagles jersey was number 2. For some reason, he's quickly fallen off the list. Oh wait, not just some reason... it's because he's only played like 10 snaps.

1 comment:

Andy said...

Your Foote jersey was way worth it simply because of the FOOTE STOMP outside of Mclanahans after XL.