TV: Golden Globes Sucked

*Posted January 11, 2009*

I'll quickly say what was good. Ricky Gervais' speech (below), Spielbergs award, and Mickey Rourke's win. Here are the Top 10 things that sucked about the Globes on Sunday.

10. The irrelevancy of the Globes - we all know it's a joke and an excuse to get a bunch of drunk celebs together in a room.

9. The length - nothing can be done about this, but I still hate it.

8. Tom Cruise taking the lead on the Ledger standing ovation - reeked of smugness.

7. Presenters who have no business being there - Miley had no right to be at last year's Emmys, and the Jonas Bros. were certainly out of their league on Sunday. How many tweens even watch the Globes? You're catering to a non-existant market, NBC.

6. Jokes that fall flat - Borat's zingers were hilarious. People thought it was okay to laugh at Gervais' holocaust joke, but not at one taking a shot at Madonna. You'd think the booze would lighten the audience up. Thank God Sean Penn wasn't there to defend her.

5. Long Speeches - Only the major awards should get time for speeches. Everyone else, aim higher next year.

4. Ryan Seacrest throwing a hissy fit because Brad and Angelina snubbed him - He's a toolbag with no talent, I would've avoided him too.

3. Focus on the fashion - It's just really annoying.

2. Pointless banter - If you saw Mark Wahlberg and Cameron Diaz smalltalking before handing out an important award, you know why I hate this.

1. The success of lame movies that I have no interest in seeing. Slumdog Millionaire's (I'm even sick of the title) success pretty much guarantees that no one will watch the Oscars. Only two things make Oscar night interesting: The potential juggernaut of a fan-friendly film (LOTR, Saving Private Ryan, Titanic, etc.) or a coin toss between two greats (No Country/There Will Be Blood). What we have in the making is a stinky juggernaut scooping up awards for music, writing, directing, and Best Picture. If the trend continues with other award shows, Slumdog will be a slam dunk on Oscar night. Too bad for good films that I liked (Gran Torino, Frost/Nixon, and Dark Knight).