Wednesday, May 13, 2009

L O S T Finale - Running Diary

The Pens victory is pretty much guaranteed at this moment (they are dominating 5-0 right now), so let's start thinking about LOST. Thanks to the Pens, nothing could put me in a bad mood. I'm more excited than ever for a LOST finale. They have promised and delivered with big twists in the past, so I know tonight is going to be mindblowing.

Pens update: 6-2 with 3 minutes left. Crosby picking Ovie's pocket and taking the puck the length of the ice on a breakaway and undressing Theodore is the defining moment of the series. Crosby is way better than everyone else in the world. Case closed.

I'm watching with fellow site writers Andy and Jay. Here is a quick list of things we want to see tonight:

Herb: The resolution of the Juliet-LaFleur-Whore Kate love triangle. We can't have them dragging this plot throughout next season. Also, I want many gunfights, fistfights, and explosions. Prediction: A+
Jay: wants Christian Shephard to be awesome and talk with Jack. Prediction: A
Urban: wants to see something definitive with Jacob. Will we see him? Hear from him? Is he in fact real!?!?!? Prediction: A

Find out the answers to these questions and more TONIGHT... on L O S T.

9:40 - And. Here. We. Go.
9:41 - Opens with someone at a spindle. Is it Jacob? Briar Rose? If it's Jacob, they are jumping straight into the deep end. I love it.
9:42 - Pirate ship off in the distance (obviously the Black Rock). These actors are a couple of nobodies, which is disappointing. My bet is that Alpert is on that ship.
9:42 - "Always nice talking to you, Jacob." Ooooo--The STATUE!!!!! OoooooOOOOO. I'm geeking out right now. Was any of that even relevant?

First commercial break - Well, we've seen Jacob and the statue, and probably the Black Rock. Who was the other guy, and why were they talking about loopholes and people trying to kill him, muses Jay. Doc Jensen might be seizing right now with all this information.

9:45 - Great. What must be a young Kate is lifting lunchboxes from a mom and pop store.
9:46 - "Always getting caught," says Jay. I couldn't agree more.
9:47 - "I'll pay for it," says..... JACOB!!!! OFF-ISLAND!!!!
9:48 - Kate and Sawyer argue. No one cares.
9:50 - I fucking hate Radzinsky. He is never in a good mood, probably because his bald head is sunburnt. "I came to this Island to change the world, Pierre, and that's exactly what I intend to do." Nobody messes with Dr. Chang, and yet the workers resume drilling at the Swan site.
9:51 - 30 years later. Ben confirms Locke's suspicions. He never met Jacob. I'm thinking that Jacob wants to die, like how the Grail Knight wants Indy to relieve him of his post.
9:53 - "I've never seen anyone come back to life," says Alpert.
"I've never seen anyone who never ages," replies Locke. He is on his game tonight, like the Island version of Sid the Kid.
9:54 - Lapidus is back! Andy loves his chest hair, and really, we all wish we could have that. Ilena claims that her and Meathead are friends of Lapidus. "What's in the box?" Guesses? Jay thinks it's a person.

Commercial Break 2: WHAT IS IN THE BOX? It certainly has Lapidus spooked, so it's something that he can make sense of. I wonder if they are similiarly trying to blow up the Island like Action Jack. The three of us are still stumped as to what it could be. Jay thinks a weapon, but who knows.

9:58 - We are back with another kiddie flashback, most likely Jimmy Ford at his parent's funeral. He's righting his famous note, and who gives him a pen...... JACOB!!!! He is instrumental in the pasts of our heroes. Did he also orchestrate the murder suicide of Mr. and Mrs. Ford?
10:00 - Kate was made to promise not to steal again, and Jimmy was made to promise not to finish the letter. Both eventually break their promises. Hmm.....
10:01 - "You want out? You wanna stay here and whine about it?" Juliet just dominated the fat guard physically and LaFleur mentally. Soooooo hot. Kate, as usual, is a worthless bystander.
10:02 - The sub surfaces courtesy of more Warcraft III graphics.
10:04 - "Yeah, I know him....and if I were you, I wouldn't give up on him." Jack is awesome. Locke is awesome. Alpert is awesome. The only thing that can ruin this night is more lines for Sun.
10:05 - "I'm not gonna kill Jacob, Ben, you are." Wow!!! Great line after great line after great line. The first half hour is supposed to be the setup for the big finish, and this setup is fantastic.

Commercial Break 3:
Andy: "The stuff with Jacob is awesome. Jacob, Alpert, Ben, Locke is far superior than the Dharma crap."
We've seen Sawyer and Kate as kiddies. Next up in the flashback is Juliet, but what will see in her past? Andy easily predicts that Jacob will pop up. Jay thinks an older Juliet will be in the flashback, not a kiddie.

10:08 - Flashback to a happy Sayid and Nadia. Probably her death!!!! JACOB!!!!! He orchestrates the death of Nadia. Is it wrong that the three of us erupted in laughter when she was hit by the SUV? Her last words..."Take me home." Andy is almost in tears over here. I still have no idea what the intentions of Jacob are. He's now influenced present events in the present time as well as in the 70s.
10:10 - Oooo Alpert just knocked out Eloise so that Jack and Sayid could storm the Barracks. Any chance that Hurley and Miles and Jin get caught in the crossfire. Jack looks like he's itching for a gunfight.
10:12 - Aww there's Phil. I like Phil. He's just doing what he think is right.
10:13 - BANG!!! First big surprise of the night, Roger Workman just put a slug in Sayid's belly; payback for shotting his kid. Jack's aim has dropped off in the 3 years he's been off-Island. Hurley comes to the rescue in the van much like he did in Season 3.

Commercial Break 4: Will Sayid be saved? Does this make their mission to alter the timeline even more imperative?!?
Jay loves the new Terminator trailer. What a loser. Andy and Jay thinks that Sayid was unceremoniously done in. I guess walking through town in plain clothes was pretty stupid after all. I think Sayid is a goner, but the future will be changed soon, so I'm not too upset about it.

10:17 - Juliet just sadly said goodbye to the sub as it submerges. Jay gets the feeling that she's the next to go. We all agree that would suck.
10:18 - VINCENTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! 3 Years later!!!! NOOOOOOOO Rose is alive. YESSSSS Bernard is back and everyone is rejoicing. He looks like Harrison Ford in the fugitive, rocking the great beard and shaggy hair. "Sonuvabitch." We miss you too, Bernard.
10:20 - Looks like they aren't Adam and Eve. But even better, Rose and Bernard made a happy life in the jungle with a nice little hut. I'm happy for them.
Kate: Jack's got a bomb.
Rose: Who cares?
We can all agree that everyone hates Kate, right? I'm loving Rose and Bernard right now. Juliet and LaFleur are obviously jealous.
10:22 - "We are the good guys," says Meathead. I doubt it. Whoaaaaa, looks like they are first to Jacob's cabin. How did they know where to find it? Is Jacob's body in the crate?
10:23 - Flashback time again. Looks like Ilana covered in burns and what not. Jacob is here to visit, maybe to tell her what is in the shadow of the statue. Ilana recognizes him. Hmmmm..... I still don't know what to make of his intentions, which is great.

Commercial break 5: Looks like we are going to learn a lot about Jacob and the Statue. New theory on what is in the box. Smokey the monster, maybe? Is Christian really the voice of Jacob, like we've been lead to believe. Jay believes that, like Ilana, Meathead, and Lapidus, Locke is also heading towards the statue to see Jacob. Jay also believes that the detonation of jughead is what rips apart the statue. Both are excellent thoughts....

10:29 - Jacob is reading a book. JENSEN!!! The building looks like the same one where Locke falls. HAHAHAH!!! I was right. Locke just crashed to the ground behind a calm Jacob. Andy and I feel that Locke died on impact, but Jacob's touch brought Locke back to life. This is getting better and better. He has had an impact on virtually everything. Is Jacob's will in line with the will of the Island?
10:31 - Locke and Ben are having another fantastic scene together. My question from last week has been answered. Ben was just faking it when he took Locke to the cabin, and was shocked to actually see results. Locke is dominating, saying that Ben was pretty much given the shit end of the stick as a reward for all his efforts in service of the Island. "The question is, Ben, why the hell wouldn't you want to kill Jacob?" What a role reversal for the two.
10:34 - DriveShaft ring? More like Suck Shaft...
10:35 - Jin and Sun's wedding. Will Jacob be the priest? Best man? DJ at the reception? And there he is, like Waldo. Jacob knows fluent Korean, just like whatever language he spoke with Ilana. We get the picture, Lindelof, Jacob has been everywhere.
10:37 - Team Jack vs. Team LaFleur. Round 1. FIGHT!

Commercial Break 6: Jay wants a sad ending for Sun and Jin, but now thinks they will be happily reunited. We are now all making fun of Nadia. Jay (in a girly voice): "Hey Sayid, I'm going to stand in the middle of the road and----" thump. She has dropped in the power rankings.

10:41 - Jay has correctly predicted that Alpert has taken them to the statue, but what lies in its shadow.... perhaps we will see?
10:42 - Showdown time. Jack vs. James. "5 minutes," says Jack in a goofy manner.
10:42 - Flashback time!!! Jack is operating, and Jay guesses it's the angelhair pasta girl. He's right. One of my predictions for the episode is correct. Jack is given a pep talk by the greatest dad in the history of dads, Christian Shephard. Jack is now ready to fix the girl. But where is Jacob? Give it time....
10:44 - More Jack and Christian bonding in the hallway. Ooooo Jack just stuck it to the old man. Hahahaha Jacob helps the doc with his candy problems. I'm not sure how that influences Jack at all.
10:45 - LaFleur is telling Jack about his dead parents. Will he tell them it was Locke's dad? Sawyer is of the opinion that "What's done is done." I'm kind of siding with Sawyer on this one.
10:47 - "I had her. I had her, and I lost her." Jack talking about Kate (or hopefully Juliet?). Words didn't work with Jack
10:48 - BAM! A real Showdown!!! Come on, doc!!! Sawyer just gave him a cheapshot, like Ovechkin's knee-on-knee hit. Jack limps off in disgrace. Juliet sides with her real man. Does this mean Sawyer will help them now?

Commercial Break 7: Jay thinks this is the first time that Jack and Sawyer have fist fought, and I can't prove him wrong. Maybe when Sayid tortured him in season 1? Andy also can't think of another time they had a dust-up. So, where do we stand? No one wants Kate. Jack is still set to blow up the outside world.

10:53 - Flashback time to probably Juliet as a kiddie. Her parents are splitting up. Bigggggg deal. Hmmm... no Jacob during that scene.
10:54 - Juliet thinks Sawyer is batting his eyes at Kate. So here's the connection between her parents divorce and the current situation. Sometimes you just know when it's not meant to be. She wants the Island to blow up so that she never has to lose Sawyer to tramp Kate.
10:56 - Big shocker, Radzinski is yelling again. He thinks Jack and co. are heading for the Swan, which is right. Jack is looking over the situation from a distance, much like Han Solo before they storm the shield generator at Endor.
10:57 - Kate blows.

Commercial Break: Another flipflop from a woman. Kate now wants to blow up the Island. About a half is left, and they really need to deliver. It's been a lot of set up. Question: Who does Jacob visit next?
Andy: Juliet
Jay: Walt
Me: Ben, but Ben doesn't know that it's Jacob.

11:01 - Flashback time. Looks like Hurley gets the visit. He's being released from prison after the events from the beginning of this season. Cab driver Jacob? False. He is a passenger. Andy notes the guitar in the cab. I love how Jacob has the same level of stubble for every era that he has been in. Jacob delivers a pretty comforting speech to Hurley where he assures him that he is not crazy. This explains why Hurley makes it on the plane.
11:05 - Time for Jack's destiny. Why isn't anyone helping him storm the Hatch? This is great action music for the doc. "See you in Los Angeles," he tells a bummed out Sawyer.
11:06 - Meanwhile, Locke is ready to meet the man of the last 2 hours. Richard has pretty much been a doormat this episode, probably something he's not used to in his many years of existence. "Tell him I said hello." HERE WE GO!!!!
11:09 - Into the foot of the statue they go, I'm almost certain that Jacob will turn the tables on Linus and kill him.

Commercial Break 9: Question: Will history be changed??!?!
Jay: NOOOO (sorry Jack)
Andy: I don't know
Me: You better believe it.

Next Question: Will Jacob die this episode?
Jay: NOOOOO, unless he is already dead.
Andy: Some form of Jacob will survive.
Me: You better believe it.

For the record, well all have no idea what to make of this episode. Our collective heads are spinning.

11:12 - Miles alerts the group that maybe "Whatever Happens, Happened" and the nuke IS the incident. Reinforcements (if you call 4 guys in a jeep, one of them being inept Phil, reinforcents) are on their way and the LOSTies must spring into action.
11:14 - Jay thinks Pierre's arm is coming off soon.
11:15 - Juliet continues to be hot and shoots a guy. Kate, for the first time in the history of LOST, has killed someone on the Island. Sawyer catches Phil and is ready to make good on his promise. Time to drop the bomb.....
11:16 - .......
11:17 - .......
11:18 - Uh oh. Will anything happen?
11:18 - Anyone else thinking shades of season 2 and Locke saying "I was wrong."
11:18 - The magnets are going nuts!!! Chang's arm!!! Miles saves him!!! Stupid Phil is killed!! Juliet is grabbed like Quint in Jaws (notes Jay)!!!!! No no no no no!!! Bye bye, Juliet.
Jay: "ELSA!!!!!" (from Indy 3).
11:21 - to break the tension, The local news guy says "Next at 11, a local boy is mauled by a dog." We can't help but laugh. We are all going to Hell.

Commercial Break 10: We are stunned, like Caps fans. Juliet is dead and the world is less hot as a result of this. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN KATE!!!! Jay wisely notes that Jacob never visited with Juliet off-Island. Jay thinks she deserves dying for her loser affair with Goodwin.

Question: What we just witnessed: Was it the Incident? Does it alter the future?
Jay: That was how it always happened.
Andy: Nope, because Pierre arms gets mangled like it should
Me: I agree.

11:27 - Buzzkill. We just saw Sun. "Do you have any alcohol?" You suck.
11:28 - Ilana, Meathead, and Lapidus meet up with the Others at the statue. What's in the box?!?!?!? "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Richard answers in some crazy language! According to the boards: "
"Ille qui nos omnes servabit" "He who will save us all."
11:30 - Box time. Sounds like a body. Looks like a body! Andy was right! HIM!?!? JOHN FUCKING LOCKE!!!! LOCKE!!!! LOCKE!!!!! WOW WOW WOW!!!!
11:31 - "I don't understand," says Sun. Retard.
11:32 - Jay thinks new Locke is the other guy that was pals with Jacob in the beginning. We never got his name, though.
11:32 - "Well you've found your loophole." - Jacob
"Indeed I did." - New Locke. Jay is right. Unbelievable.
11:33 - "Do what I've asked of you Ben." YIKES!!!!
11:33 - "So now, after all this time, you've decided to stop ignoring me." Ben is pouring his heart out now. The shit is about to hit the fan. Ben Linus is the man.
11:34 - "What was it that was so wrong with me? What about me!?!?" - Ben
"What about you?" - Jacob. Basterd
11:35 - STAB! You just got served, Jacob, Linus-style. For good measure, new Locke kicks him in the fire. Jacob is dead!!!!!! His last words? "They're coming." LOSTIES!!!!!
11:36 - JULIET IS ALIVE!!!! NO WAY!!!! She's going to blow the bomb!!!!
11:37 - KABOOM!!! New Lost colors is black text on white!!!
11:38 - LOST.

Ending thoughts: We all knew that the bomb would blow this episode, but we've learned nothing else. What is the result? We won't find out for many many months. Consensus? A disappointing ending. Other than that?

Jay: Grade - C - No answers tonight. Just more questions about Jacob and his buddy.
Andy: Is dead Locke the real Locke? Who is the live Locke? Grade - B+
Me: We still don't know what lies in the shadow of the statue. I'll check the boards soon and update the blog. There was a lot of buildup and we still don't know the repercussions of Jughead blowing up. Grade - B

The signifigance of the different Logo at the end (Black text on white background)? Much like Mario using 66 to answer 99: The world is about turn upside down. Altered timeline here we come.

Was the guy who eventually inhabited new Locke the same spirit who inhabited new Christian? Too many questions. What a great season of LOST, people.


Andy said...

gets better and better with each viewing

not as good or shocking as "Through the Looking Glass," but better than last year

in the Season 1-2 finale range

B+ last night, A- now

Jason said...

it has been 8 months. i switch my grade to A+ and blame the beer that night.