Thursday, May 7, 2009

L O S T - Pre-Finale Rankings

I've never been a huge fan of the time travel angle. Though previous Desmond episodes played around with the concept in a cool way, I never imagined that behind the scenes, the L O S T brain trust was preparing us for a complete overhaul of the show that would result in three things: (1) Lindelof and Cuse "congratulating" each other for being such mega-geniuses, (2) me wondering what happened to the show I went bananas for in the first two seasons, and (3) a Hugo-sized brainfart from my sister that still leaves her disinterested in the L O S T universe to this day.

The repeated time hopping antics of this season's first few episodes really bugged me, but I was glad to see that once things
settled into their respective eras, the mind-blowing episodes returned. In the past, all of my power rankings were built upon what a character had done up to that point. Example: Jack's dominance in season 1 (and 2, and kinda 3) was enough to keep him on top of my power rankings throughout his weak season 4.

Well I'm here now to say that Whatever Happened, DIDN'T Happen. No
longer am I taking into account previous seasons. These power rankings will only hit on season 5 actions (sorry Jack, we'll always have the caves).

L O S T Season Five (TOP TEN):

1. Dr. Pierre Chang - he came off as cryptic/annoying in the orientation videos, but there must be something about Asian men on this show. Following in the footsteps of Jin, Miles, and Mr. Paik, what started as annoying has developed into pure Made-In-China/Korea awesomeness. Chang's smart ass remarks to the Dharma underlings have all been priceless, and his transformation into a caring father who buys into the time traveler's story caps an already impressive run for him. Highlight: His back and forth quiz with Hurley. I didn't want to believe he was number 1, but the truth is right now I'm looking forward to his scenes more than anyone else's (besides Jacob maybe).

2. Ben Linus - Delegated to the Other's bench at the end of last season, he's doing a bang up job of sticking around. He used to be a man with answers, now he's just along for the ride. But he's been an architect of this season's events and something tells me he's got one last ace up his sleeve to be played next week.

3. Locke - Maybe I'm dwel
ling too much on last night, but Locke has finally settled into his leader role, he's stopped whining, stopped asking questions, and stopped cooking everybody meals. The Boar Hunter returns, and that's enough for the 3 spot.

4. Richard Alpert - I thought last night would give us some answers on his origins, but the only morsel thrown at us was: He's an advisor, and he's been that for a loooooong time. No Shit! We kinda figured. Is he an eye-lined immortal or just a master of time travel or just Mayor of Gotham? How does he never age? Maybe he was born with it, maybe it's Maybelline?

5. Christian Shepherd - His appearances are few and far between, but he knows when to bring it hard. There are some guys like Malkin who can turn on a button that sends them into overdrive. Then there are guys like the original Doc who just don't know how to turn that button off. Oh, and say hello to his son for him.

6. Hurley - Same typical, fat, funny Hurley as always. We'll take it.

7. Charles Widmore - His best moments are when he's old and bitter. But even the young Chuck Dubya keeps things interesting. Fleshing out his character and his motives vastly improved on the mean-father-of-your-girlfriend bit part he started out as. And though Old Eloise is gross (grosser in Yes Man), young Ellie was hot. High five that.

8. Horace Goodspeed - Besides having his balls taken away from him last night, he's been solid in That 70's Episodes.

9. Dan Faraday - an idiotic death isn't enough to make me forgot how his brain held the plot together in the first episodes, and how he delivered a great going-away party (unlike Ana Lulu, Eko, etc). And you gotta appreciate a beard this time of year (JACK YOU SUCK).

10. Jim "Marc-Andre" LaFleury - How did this happen??????????????????????

1 comment:

Andy said...

no Sayid? reminiscent of Han Solo saving Luke in A New Hope

I'm getting sick of Hurley.