REVIEW: Marley and Me

*Posted December 31, 2008*

The reigning box-office champ tells the story of the worst dog, and really, that's the only part of the movie you care about. Owen Wilson plays a columnist in Miami, and we are led to believe that his columns are just hilarious without being given a sample of it. He is scared of having kids with his wife Jennifer Aniston, so he surprises her with a puppy, Marley, who does evil dog things like destroying the garage, eating and chewing everything, pooping in the ocean, and running after stuff when gets the chance. Owen and Jen can't change him because they are weak-willed, but they don't really want to, either. While this is happening, their family grows and their marraige hits its highs and lows. The film gets points for showing a good bit of dissarray and depression in the house when the kids are born. Mama Jen loses her identity when she has to take care of 3 kids and a dog, while Papa Owen loses the chance to shoot for his dream job. But eventually they find happiness when they realize what a great family they have and other cheesy stuff like that. Marley is the highlight, but he's no Hooch. I expected a weepy finale, but it never happened. Yeah, I was sad, but Owen Wilson didn't sell it well enough (which is odd, because he did this movie after trying to kill himself, so you'd think he'd be in the right frame of mind). Tom Hanks breaking down while Hooch dies on the operating table is the saddest owner/dog moment in film history. Marley might not even break the top ten.

B-