TV: Office Thoughts

*Posted December 11, 2008*

I just finished watching the Fall finale of the Office, a Christmas episode that has to contend with the Secret Santa Office episode and the Benihana Christmas episode of past seasons. Here's a quick breakdown of the episode. It had many genuinely funny moments (Jim's prank during the opening gag, Dwight's Princess Unicorn scheme), some shockingly funny moments (Meredith's belly (AAAHHHHH!!!!)!, actually the rest of her storyline was nuts, too), and some heartbreakers (poor Andy). However, I have a couple of issues with this season. No matter how much I want to gag when they are around, I still want to see some more PB & J. Yes, they sometimes they suck, but they are the heart of the show and when nothing's happening with them, nothing's happening with The Office. Issue #2: The Dwight-Angela-Andy love triangle has been beaten to death. I really thought at the end of last season that when Phyliss found out about that affair, that would be the end of it, but noooooo. Summer went by, and now Fall has gone by too. You'd think that after tonight, when Phyliss told everyone in the Office, that we would FINALLY get a resolution, but nooooooooo. Andy wasn't around to hear it, so now we have to wait until the real season finale. It's about time I adjusted my Power Rankings from 3 months ago. The previous rank is in parentheses.

10. Kelly Kapoor (-) - Much better than Meredith, Stanley, Phyliss, Kevin, and Angela.

"[looking sick] I'm on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online too so.. I'm gonna look amazing."

9. Pam Beesley (5) - Sucks this year. Cocky Pam is much worse than quiet, playful Pam.

"I will be a little fish in the Big Apple... What up 2-1-2!"

8. Darryl the Foreman (7) - Another great cast member that doesn't get enough to do.

'Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News, one was Tracy Chapman Fast Car. And my personal favorite: Short People."

7. David Wallace (--) - He's cool and his wife's hot. Enough said.

"Wanna go shoot some hoops?"

6. Creed (4) - Just isn't around as much this year, unfortunately.

"Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? [whispering] Creed Bratton."

5. Oscar (10) - Gets a big jump after bonding with Andy (not in that way) and explaining lemonade budgets to Michael.

"That isn't ethics. Ethics is a real discussion of competing conceptions of the good. This is just the corporate anti-shoplifting rules."

4. Jim Halpert (6) - Happy Jim is much cooler than lovesick puppy Jim.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork."

3. Michael Scott (1) - The Holly storyline was good, but this Michael is practically a simpleton, Remember in season 3 when he stumbled ass backwards into the Hammermill sale? None of that going on this year, as he need budget surpluses explained to him like a 5 year old. Was the Jan story ever resolved?

"What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went... I once went twenty-eight years without having sex. And then again for seven years."

2. Andy Bernard (3) - He used to be a devious kiss-ass with a temper. But this season, Andy's heart has been melted by Angela, somehow, and he's endlessly optimistic. Rid-di-di--dooooouuu!

"Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair."

1. Dwight Schrute (2) - The evil mastermind's latest plots (tricking Angela to marry him, screwing with Andy by posing as a Cornell alum, the aforementioned Princess Unicorn scam) are all comedy gold. Whereas Michael Scott's comic appeal comes from him being a dunderhead, Dwight is all mad genius.

"Andy, I've been meaning to ask you. Which a capella group should I join? The Harmoniacs? Or the Doh-Ray-Mee-gos?"