URBAN LEGEND: The Olympics?

*Posted August 21, 2008*

What too watch on TV, the dilemma attacked me like an old Lee Flowers tackle on Tuesday night when I had an hour of free time from 8-9 PM.I knocked it down to four choices.The 8 PM staple, the O Reilly Factor was on FoxNews giving a special about the life of John McCain, ok not bad, but Billy is way cooler than the Maverick.The Pirates were on FoxSports.I haven’t been watching too many Bucco games since the All-Star break, for obvious reasons, but I usually enjoy watching Ian Snell pitch, even though he is having a horrible year.He is more important to the Pirates organization that anyone realizes in my opinion.Third, the World Series of Poker was on ESPN.They were showing the final table of the 50 thousand dollar buy-in HORSE event.They switch between all the different variants of poker, Holdem, Omaha, Razz, Stud, and Eight or better Hi-Lo, and champions of this event are often considered one of the better all-around poker players.I generally prefer Holdem, but I was slightly interested because my favorite poker player, Erick Lindgren, was at the final table.As I was clicking aimlessly through the channels, like Frank Costanza without his TV guide, I came across my fourth choice.Why don’t I just watch the Olympics?It is this great event that brings the global community together.I should be rooting hard for Americans, appreciating great talent, and savoring every moment of this every-four-year-mecca.It took me about 3 seconds to decide to flip back and forth between the Pirates and Poker.

Why do I hate the Olympics so much this year?The ratings are great, supposedly the opening ceremonies were something for the ages, and then there is Michael Phelps.O yeah, Phelps, that’s the reason for my disdain.I am so sick of him, was, am, and will forever be.Yes he did break Mark Spitz’s record, but take a look closer at his medals.He is probably the best in the world at the butterfly, I’ll give him that, but he wins all these medleys, which probably makes him a great all-around swimmer, but I am looking for speed.No 50m freestyle.No 100m freestyle.In a race from one end of the pool to the other, all my money would go on Spitz in a heartbeat.Phelps is great in a sense, but he is so overrated in an other.He is a swimmer.Phelps is entering a Lance Armstrong-type category of individuals who dominate these loser sports, and America claims that they are the greatest athletes of all-time.Give me Kobe Bryant, LT, and even Derek Jeter before I even think about a swimmer.

With all that said, some greatness has happened during this Olympics.Usain Bolt of Jamaica totally crushed all competition in the 100m and 200m dashes, the true events of the Summer Olympics.Not only did he crush the competition, he broke both world records.My fondest Olympic memory was in 1996 when Michael Johnson won gold in Atlanta wearing gold shoes during the 200m.Bolt just broke Johnson’s world record in that event.Can you name the other two men who have won both 100 and 200 meter gold in the same Olympics?Jesse Owens and Carl Lewis.I wonder if the guys from Cool Runnings were this fast.History is being made with this Jamaican sprinter, and yet we continue to be force-fed with Michael Phelps and his annoying mom.As long as NBC continues to be an absolute joke and Americans persist in their blind praise for Michael Phelps, I will be watching the Pirates lose on FSN and continue to bear horrible one-liners from Norman Chad on ESPN.