Saturday, April 25, 2009

LITERATURE: Review: I am American (And So Can You!)

*Posted May 30, 2008*

Top Ten sure doesn't read a lot of books, but I can't recommend Colbert's book enough to everyone. It makes for a wonderful bathroom book and hits on some of America's biggest issues (family, sports, immigration, etc.) and runs like one big 200 page segment of the Word. Some of my favorite quips:

On the Class War: "India has one of the most rigid and complex class structures. Based upon their behavior in past lives, all Indians are born into different stratas of society called "castes." These castes forever determine what level of tech support questions they are allowed to answer."

On the Media: "The Tiffany Network (CBS) is responisble for the perennial Sunday Night Postgame buzzkill, 60 minutes. Morley Safer and his team of aged jackals present what I believe is the worst kind of investigative journalism--the kind with investigations. On the other hand, I like the innovations that Katie Couric has brought to The CBS Evening News, especially the innovation of having viewers turning elsewhere for news."

A childhood letter to his grandpa:
"Dear Grandpa,
Thank you for the baseball glove. I will rub it with oil and put it under my mattress until it gets soft like you said. Thank you for coming to my birthday party. I like your funny jokes. I was wondering. Where did you get the money to buy my glove since you don't work anymore? Mom says you got it from the government and from your old job. But why do you they give you money if you don't work for them? I don't think you should get any money for doing nothing. So I wote a letter to President Nixon to tell him to stop paying all the grandpas who don't work anymore. Don't worry, you won't be poor. Because you can come work for me! You can sleep on the floor next to my bed and when I'm at school you can do my chores! I'll give you some of my allowance. But not enough to buy baseball gloves.
Stephen T. Colbert"

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