It's been a boring week unless you like natural disasters in foreign countries, so we'll just go straight to the News of the Weird (as always, brought to you by newsoftheweird.com).
Toni Milton, 38, mistakenly dialled Neil O'Brien's number on her mobile phone while she was making love to her ex-boyfriend, a court heard.
O'Brien, 41, said the sound of his girlfriend sleeping with another man caused him to flip out. He drove to her house and stamped on her face so hard he left a shoeprint, Leicester crown court heard.
He was jailed for 15 months after a judge said even the "unusual circumstances" of the incident would not save him from prison. Miss Milton only realised she had accidentally pressed the redial button on her mobile phone when she heard O'Brien shouting at her down the line. When she picked up the phone he said: "I take it we're finished then?"