Entertainment Weekly interviewed John McCain and Barack Obama this week and asked them about the things that really matter to us: Movies, TV Shows, and Music! Even though this won't give us any insight into how good a President they can be, this will let us know if they are cool fanboy film buffs or derivative plain jane retards. Below are there answers to 7 questions; judge for yourself who's cooler.
First Time at the Movies:
Obama: Born Free
Decision: Just like us, McCain appreciates a good Disney cartoon. He even cried when the mother died. POINT, REPUBLICAN!
Favorite On Screen President:
Obama: Jeff Bridges, The Contender
McCain: Dennis Haybert, 24
Decision: Now normally I would suspect McCain for picking the black guy, but in this case, he is absolutely right. Pres. David Palmer is probably the greatest fictional President of all-time (sorry Pres. Marshall). Bonus points to McCain for not only knowing about that character, but he even goes on to mention his least favorite, "the one that got stabbed by his ex-wife." A true fan of the show! POINT,REPUBLICAN!
Most Recent Movie Seen at the Theater:
Obama: Shrek the Third
McCain: Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Decision: Are you kidding? Even though Obama does give the correct answer by saying "Not as good as the original" he loses a million points because he hasn't been to the movies in over a year!!! McCain, on the other hand, loved Indy, saying "I enjoyed that so much. The old guy wins." With any luck, you will too, sir. POINT, REPUBLICAN!
Decision: McCain continues to surprise. He may be as old as my grandma, but Obama shares her tastes in television. McCain also lists other impressive shows like Dexter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and the Wire, whereas B. Hussein says "Michelle's favorite is the Dick Van Dyke Show...it ranks right up there." Keep diggin' that hole, Barack. POINT, REPUBLICAN!
Decision: Unbelievable. I have to say, McCain would probably love reading this website every week, and not just because of the McCain bias. Obama sides with everything that is wrong with superhero movies (CG fights, corny dialogue, boring villains) but the GOPper's response for Batman: "He does justice sometimes against insurmontable odds." Right you are. The easiest decision of the day. POINT, REPUBLICAN!
Obama: Frank Sinatra, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, Bob Dylan
McCain: ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher
Decision: Usher seems like a bit of a reach for you John, and we all know how much trouble you have lifting your arms. Both guys try to cover as many different voting fan bases as possible, but at least its more believable with Obama. POINT, DUMBOCRAT!
Obama: Doesn't answer, all it says is that Godfather 1 and 2 are listed as favorites on his Facebook page.
McCain: Very passionate about Viva Zapata!
Decision: I've seen the Godfather and I've seen Zapata, and obviously the better Brando is Don Corleone. So I'll give the point to Obama, but McCain gave an enthused repsonse about his choice, talking about the director, the movie, the scenes. You don't get squat from Obama. POINT, DUMBOCRAT!
AND THE WINNER IS....
John McCain: For each pick, the readers of EW.com were asked which was better for each question. McCain took the first 5, Obama the last 2. My results were exactly the same. If you vote for McCain, you get an old fart who appreciates a good movie or show. A vote for Obama is obviously for a guy who doesn't give a shit about going to the movies or watching TV these days. But maybe thats a good thing...