Tuesday, April 28, 2009


*Posted September 25, 2008*


These rumors have been brewing over the past year, but now there's plenty of concrete buzz to pass along. If you read about the movie elsewhere, every juicy tidbit you got came hand in hand with the writer's opinion on the movie (usually a negative one). Cries of "don't ruin the series with a half-assed knockoff of the original" and "they're all soooo old and fat now" were so loud I could hear them through my speakers. People like that suck long duk dong. Here at this website, we're all for another go-round, as are the Busters themselves. Here's the skinny on what's been said so far.

Last year it was rumored that Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis were writing a follow up to Ghostbusters II. Speculation went as far as to suggest that ghosts were back in New York City (why is NYC always the only place affected?), forcing the boys with the proton backs to go back to work (again) and bust ghosts. The climax had them discovering the source of the outbreak, a portal into Hell, as they went in to battle the ghosts and ghouls in a final showdown that probably leaves Winston dead, possessed, or both.

Whether the story is true or not, it was then found out that the idea for the movie ended up becoming a video game that brought back the voices of all the old cast members (Rick Moranis as the uberaccountant/tax attorney included). You take on the role as a newly hired Ghostbuster working along side your famous colleagues when Manhattan is overrun by more ghosts. I wish I could give you more info, but that's pretty much all that's said about game. Now, onto the movie...

Supposedly, the guys got excited about returning to their old roles (even if it was just voice work) and are interested again in reviving the franchise on the big screen. Apparently, the movie will acknowledge the passage of time and set Venkman, Stanz, Spengler & Co. as old mentors to a new batch of Ghostbusters. Whose the new batch? It was rumored to be the Judd Apatow clan (Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, probably Jonah Hill, and maybe Darryl from the Office as the new Winston) with some of Apatow's flunkies penning the screenplay with help from Aykroyd and Ramis. Again, that's just a rumor because now the word is that the producers have two seasoned writers from The Office working on the screenplay. Rogen and his buds may still be considered for a storyline, but that's all we know. In the past, a trilogy was always considered but poo-pooed by Bill Murray who was having too much fun being in successful movies. Now that he's excited about the project again (his exact words: "the wounds from Ghostbusters II have healed." ouch), it looks to be in full swing. No word on whether Ivan Reitman will return to direct, but he will join Aykroyd and Ramis in some sort of consulting capacity. Here's hoping they don't dick this up.

More And More Annoying JOHNNY DEPP Overkill!:

This is a guy who used to be known for thumbing his nose at mainstream Hollywood, telling all the studio big wigs to shove their star vehicles up their fat asses. Frankly, that whole routine was apart of his charm. He made his bones in little cinema and did a fantastic job while it lasted. I say "while it lasted" because ever since he signed on to play an alcoholic, bisexual pirate for Disney back in 2003, it's been nothing but annoying studio movies. While he hits a bullseye every now and then (corrupt CIA agent in Once Upon A Time In Mexico comes to mind), he's spent most of his time peddling bullshit to the public.

Let's go down the line: Secret Window came first, but that doesn't count because he made that before Pirates 1 was released so the lovefest hadn't started yet. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was hands down an awful movie and Depp was incredibly irritating in the lead. Corpse Bride worked because we didn't have to see his smug mug on screen. Dead Man's Chest and At Worlds End brough back Jack Sparrow, who left us wanting more after Curse of the Black Pearl, but had us begging him to turn in his dreads and bracelets by the time the curtain dropped. Self indulged seemed an accurate depiction of the final two movies (sort of like another annoying trilogy I know (cough..coughMatrixcough..cough). Then came the crown jewel of Johnny-Depps-the-Greatest-and-Edgiest-Actor-In-The-World-Mania. Sweeney Todd, regrettably a movie I've seen the majority of (you guys out there with girlfriends feel my pain), had a story that was interesting enough, but any potential it had was hammered to shit with every line said and song sang by Depp. I mean, I could tell it was shit. It was plain as day to me. But everybody and their mom started plugging Johnny Depth as the greatest actor ever for daring to go the musical route. Let me tell you something, there's a reason people say its daring. Because actors who usually do musicals look like idiots---DEPP INCLUDED. Sweeney Todd = rainbow colored turd.

Now anything he touches becomes a big studio movie. Proof that the world (and Johnny Depp) is still in love with Johnny Depp, he's lined up more ridiculous movies that get interest just by having his name attached. First up is ANOTHER (YES, ANOTHER) Pirates of the Caribbean movie, making this the 4th time we'll have to suffer Jack-Sparrows-Got-A-Screw-Loose jokes that became old in the 2nd movie. After that comes his 148th movie with Tim Burton, this time as the Mad Hatter in what will likely be a dark and gloomy twist on Alice and Wonderland (ooooooo so clever). Face it moron, there's already an actor out there who takes the gold medal in multiple Tim Burton movies (Beetlejuice, Batman, and Batman Returns beats the shit out of anything Depp did with Timmy).

FINALLY (and this probably takes the cake), a confirmation that Depp will be starring in a remake of THE LONE RANGER. And no! He won't be the title character, but TONTO, the Indian sidekick! I know what the world is thinking: Wow!! That's just zany enough to work! Another hit for Johnny! Count me among the sane folks who will never see this ape dung. Hopefully an actor who isn't in love with everything he says and does gets cast as the Lone Rangers. Oh but wait? Haven't you heard? None other than George Clooney wants in as the lead? It's enough of a smug cloud to blot out the sun. If enough of us ignore the hype, the movie will tank and maybe Depp will retreat back to the indie movies that treated him so well. I've got my fingers crossed.

In the mean time, look for Depp to be smugging up the screen in Sin City 3 and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in another attempt to show us how risky and odd he can be. At least his band sucks. That claim's pretty airtight. And yes, that cover belongs to an actual book.

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