SPORTS: WILL THE EMPIRE STATE STRIKE BACK?

*Originally Posted April 29, 2008*

The Pens remain undefeated in the postseason after beating the Rangers 5-3. Yes, this is awesome, but what is even better is the parallels to STAR WARS! You read that right, now bear with me.

STAR WARS	PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
Obi-Wan Kenobi was a big part of the Jedi during the end of the Republic.	Mario Lemieux was a big part of the Pens during their big success in the 90s.
Qui-Gon Jinn, before dying, tells Obi-Wan to train their new promising young Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, because he will bring balance to the force.	Badger Bob, before dying, probably tells Mario to groom their new promising rookie, Jaromir Jagr, because maybe he is the key to more Cups.
Anakin becomes moody and is seduced by the Dark Side.	Mario retires, Jagr loses patience with fans.
Obi-Wan figures out that Anakin is the father of Padme’s baby and tries to help, but Anakin is suspicious that he is losing Padme and her love to Obi-Wan.	Mario returns to the Pens, but Jagr becomes more grumpy and fears he is losing the team and the city’s love to Mario.
Anakin snaps, betrays the Jedis, and moves to the Dark Side of the Force, much to the delight of Emperor Palpatine. He claims that he did it to help Padme survive.	Jagr snaps, betrays the team and city, and moves to bigger markets like D.C. and New York, much to the delight of Commissioner Bettman. He claims that he did it to help the team survive.
Obi-Wan goes into exile, defeated, and becomes a hermit on Tatooine.	Mario takes over the team alone, injured, and becomes a hermit up in the owner’s box.
Obi-Wan begins to groom a new Jedi, Luke Skywalker. Luke is believed to be the one who will bring balance to the Force.	Mario begins to groom a new leader, Sidney Crosby. Crosby is believed to be the one who will bring more Cups to Pittsburgh.
Obi-Wan dies, but still aids Luke from above.	Mario retires for good, but still aids Sid the Kid from above.
With the help of a gunslinger, Han Solo, a big oaf who can’t speak English, Chewbacca, and a black man, Lando Calrissian, Luke leads the Rebellion against Darth Vader and the evil Empire.	With the help of a gunslinger, Marian Hossa, a big oaf who can’t speak English, Evgeni Malkin, and a black man, Georges Laraque, Sid leads the Pens against Darth Jagr and the evil Rangers.