Saturday, April 25, 2009

URBAN LEGEND: Buccos, Top Chef, and Sex & the City

*Posted June 12, 2008*

My. O my.It was a little over a week ago when Top Man was focused on the Penguins, LOST, and the little excitement Indiana Jones brought to the screen.Since that time the Red Wings have been hoisting the Stanley Cup, LOST had its excellent season finale, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has run its course.So what is happening now?Well, we have the Pirates, Top Chef, and Sex in the City.I mean, summer can be great, but sometimes it has its sucky aspects.

Pirates - Don’t look now, but the Buccos are only one game under 500.It is a 32-33 record in which the starting pitching has only recently come around, and players like Adam LaRoche and Freddy Sanchez have really blowed.The Pirates are basically in the middle of the pack in the National League and about 10 games behind the St. Louis Cardinals for the wild card spot.In case you have not heard, Albert Pujols has a bad calf and will be out for a few weeks.This may be the perfect time for the Pirates to make a run.They won’t catch the Cubs in the Division, but if they continue to play well and the pitching comes around, it may be an enjoyable summer for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Top Chef - Reality shows are basically terrible, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the season of Top Chef on Bravo.It makes these chefs compete in some pretty interesting situations in order to figure out who is the Top Chef.The season was great, but I have to admit that the finale was a letdown.Easily the least engaging episode, Richard choked, Lisa sucks so bad, and Stephanie backed into victory.I have been watching some season 3 reruns, and the finale from that year was much more exciting.It was obvious last year that the finale had the top 3 chefs competing.The same could not be said for this year.And one more thing, Padma is deliciously gorgeous, but her monotone voice and lack of anything interesting coming out of her mouth started to get a little annoying by the end of the season.“Stephanie.........10 sec Top........... Chef.”How exciting.She needs to wrap duct tape around her head and bend over.

Top Chef Power Rankings

1.Richard - Didn’t like him at first, but was easily the best chef.

2.Dale - Stupid that he was not in the final four.

3.Stephanie - No problem with her winning.

4.Spike - Pretty cool dude, should have made the final four over Lisa.

5.Antonia - Was probably hot 10 years ago, made some good stuff.

6.Mark - Rock on brotha.

7.Nikki - Maybe the hottest in a batch of ugly women.

8.Andrew - He was pretty gay, most red heads are.

9.Ryan - Why make bread salad and poached pears at a tailgate?

10.Manuel - Did nothing

11.Lisa - It was a crime how long she stayed.So nasty.

12.Jennifer - Homos never win.

13.Zoi - Never

14.Valerie - Didn’t stay too long.

15.Erik - Nachos and corn dogs are probably not going to cut it.

16.Nimma - I’m sure her fried chicken and watermelon dish is fabulous.

Sex in the City - It has always sucked, it currently sucks, and it will suck forever.

Power Rankings

1.Charlotte - Easily the hottest and was a Seinfeld girlfriend.Obvious choice.

2.Samantha - Every little boy wants to nail an older hot woman.

3.Carrie - Really not that attractive, but still doable.

4. Miranda - Real-life lesbo. Obvious choice for the basement.

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