Tuesday, April 28, 2009

POLITICS: Election Day Running Blog

McCain Mavericks 155

Obama Handouts 338

12:15 - Okay, election night is over and the stage is shaking like it's a Pearl Jam concert. Gotta love that soaring rhetoric. Let's hope he's half the President that David Palmer was. I'm going to bed, now. Goodnight America, and God bless. YES, OBAMA'S CLOSING THEME SONG IS THE THEME FROM THE PATRIOT!!! MELLLLLLLLL!!!!

12:13 - My favorite part of the speech:

"At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can."

And when the roosters are curling and the cows are spinnin' circles in the pasture? YES WE CAN! The one cool thing about this outcome is that there are people in the crowds are genuinely blown away by this. This is a life changing experience for them. Had McCain won, I wouldn't be crying, and I wouldn't be going nuts like them. Let's hope they put this excitement to good use.

12:12 - Oh no!!! The typical Sally Sadsack from sutch and sutch. And Oprah is crying.

12:09 - Hahahaha. "If we've learned nothing from this crisis, we've learned that we cannot let Wall St. thrive while Main St. suffers." In reality, we should learn that we can't live outside our means. It shouldn't be about fixing Wall St. but about fixing the fundamental mentality of the American worker. Oh well, close enough, Obama.

12:00 midnight - After a very good concession speech by John McCain where he hit all the notes that he's supposed to hit, it's time for the Prez to take the stage. "Hello Chicago!" This should be his bread and butter. Unlike his speech at the DNC, he doesn't have to lay out platforms for his Presidency. He can just back and spout rhetoric and all that hogwash. Grrr, I just saw Oprah in the crowd and my dinner may be coming back up. And there's Jesse Jackson!!! Any other celebs in the crowd? Matthew Modine? Anyone? I must be honest, although the moment is historic and pretty amazing, this Obama speech feels like any other Obama speech. It's the same speech he gave in 2004 at the DNC, the same speech given at his primary victory rally, at the 08 DNC, etc. etc. This moment should be more than that, but it doesn't have to be.

11:00 - With CA, it's official. As Gorilla Monsoon would say, IT'S PANDEMONIUM!!! Juan Williams is giving an inspiring little narration right now and is on the verge on tears. Obama has gained more votes that anyone in the U.S. ever, and has the highest percentage of vote for a non-incumbant since Eisenhower. I'm depressed.

10:14 - Lots of sexual tension between Brit Hume and Megan Kelly. I'm going to miss Brit, who is retiring at the end of the year after 12 years as an anchor with Fox News. He was with us all night for the Bush 04 win, and is easily the coolest anchor in network news.

9:47 - Herb from TOP TEN calls the election for Barack Obama! The nation couldn't get over the state of the economy and placed the blame at the door of Republicans. A scary new era is about to begin. It's official...the United State's first BLACK/SOCIALIST President is...... BARACK OBAMA!!!

9:18 - Ohio is called for Obama. If McCain wins the rest of the states won by Bush in 04, he'll only get 266 electoral votes. That was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back.

9:00 - Next round of polls ending for 15 states. WI, NM, MN, NY, RI, and MI for Obama. ND, KY, WY for McCain. The end is nearing, folks.

8:39 - McCain holds on and takes Georgia, but now Ohio and Florida are essential to McCain. The Obama coronation ceremony is expecting as many as 1,000,000 people. I haven't experienced a feeling like this since the 2004 AFC Championship when the Patriots just kept piling points on the Steelers.

8:29 - The hammer falls. Brit calls PA for Obama.

8:12 - Obama gains NH. On a brighter note, the combination of Brit's brain and Megan Kelly's looks means that Fox News is thrashing MSNBC. So, every cloud...

8:04 - TN goes for McCain. The fairies at MSNBC (retard Olbermann) has already called PA for Nobama. Good grief. I'll wait for Brit Hume's official word before I put it up on the big board.

8:00 - Polls closing now with almost 200 electoral votes on the line. Go PA!!! MA, MD, IL, DC, CT, ME, NJ, DE go for Obama. OK goes for McCain. Yikes.

7:52 - McCain takes SC, extends lead. If nothing else, at least it makes for good television. Once Obama gets the big ticket items (NY and CA), there's no looking back. They've been showing shots of Obama's planned celebration ceremony in Chicago, and just like his big epic DNC setting and his big epic Berlin speech, he's chosen to go for an big elaborate set. It really seems like a coronation or a Roman triumph.

7:32 - My brother reports from Pittsburgh, PA that rumors are swirling---McCain may have taken Allegheny county, and if that happens, it could be enough to take down the Philly area. If McCain wins PA, it's a whole new ballgame.

7:06 - "The African-American turnout in North Carolina isn't what the Obama camp expected." Hahah. At the risk of sounding racist, this is also no surprise. Obama takes Vermont.

7:03 - First polls are now closing. We can no longer avoid our fate. John McCain takes Kentucky, which is no surprise. Everything else is still being counted. They say Obama's exit polls usually inflate his totals, because his actual tallies are less. To even it out, the early voting that is hard to track is tilting towards Obama.

2:33 - A couple of Mormon's just came to my door and I made the mistake of answering it. They are spreading the word of Jesus and claim that he also taught Native Americans.... it's just that the Bible didn't record that part. Anyway, I was very much intimidated by their too-calm demeanor and told them I have to go to work. They laughed like they must hear it all the time, so I eased their troubles by telling them that they are doing a much needed job in this day and age. That won them over and they gave me the Mormon website. Everybody wins.

2:19 - Follow-up on the Philly Black Panther story: Two black guys in military outfits and berets (think the ringleader in Forrest Gump Black Panther scene) were standing outside a polling place, one of them waving a nightstick. Some guy asked what they were doing there and they said "Security." That guy got spooked and alerted the poll watchers, who were also spooked. They called the cops and the nightstick guy was removed. The other guy is still there and tried arguing with a field reporter, claiming it's the reporter and camera that should leave (false, they are allowed there). Nobody was harmed or prevented from voting, which makes this a boring story. On MSNBC, they are talking about the polls that have African Americans voting 90% for Obama, 3% for McCain. Listen to this report on the Howard Stern show where Sal talks to African Americans in Harlem about their support for Obama, but lists McCain's policies instead. Example: Do you support Obama keeping our troops in Iraq? Answer: Yes, I think Obama is making the right decision. it's HILARIOUS!

2:00 - Polls predict an historic turnout, but nothing interesting is going to happen for a while, so I'm going to play some Fallout 3.

1:50 - Trace Gallagher of Fox News is about to tell us about a scuffle breaking out at a polling place in Pennsylvania, and guess who it involves? The New Black Panthers intimidating voters with nightsticks. More than anything, I think I want to see Obama lose just to see the reaction of the Dems. It would be priceless. If you haven't voted yet, there's plenty of time. So go vote McCain. My friends, we must keep fighting the good fight!

1:46 - Well folks, it all comes down to this. I just got back from St. John's United Church of Christ where I cast the 500th vote in the precinct. Some guy congratulated me, and I asked if I could vote twice as a reward. He sneered at me and hissed, "No!" Whatever, probably an Obama supporter. I was hoping to get to use some cool touch screen system, but instead some fat guy gave me a scan tron to pencil in. When I left, recess was beginning across the street, and a bunch of little brats were chanting "O-BAM-A! O-BAM-A!" Losers. For the most entertaining stump speech this season, check out Arnold Schwarzeneggar's rally for McCain in Ohio. You only need to watch the first 3.5 minutes of it to hear him slam Obama's "skinny legs."

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