Saturday, April 25, 2009


*Posted May 30, 2008*

Last night, cool people everywhere watched L O S T conclude its 4th season on ABC.Since everyone else in my family loves the show too (except Shanna, who hates it), we often go back and forth on our character rankings, theories, and trivia stuff.Therefore, since it’s my turn to do the top ten, I’m going to rank the L O S T characters ending season four.Most of you I’m sure will disagree with the list, but rest easy knowing that I’m right about this.


Another great addition to this year’s cast, Keamy came on strong late.He went toe to toe with the Big Ben Linus, calling his bluff by putting a bullet in Alex’s skull.His cool accent and expert mercenary skills put him into the top ten, even if he did die. Keamy makes this list because of the great last couple episodes he had.He even kicked a live grenade at his teammate rather than risk blowing himself up!When the new season starts I’ll remove him and file him somewhere in the ever growing top 500 dead characters list.


She’s another character who has been a bit dormant as of late.But that’s okay.Looks get you a long way on this list, and when you’ve been at the beach sitting on your hot ass all season, then they can only get you as far as #9.If she hooks up with Sawyer next year, I’m shooting someone.


Nothing new from Hurley; he still delivers his same shtick thrown in with a little mental home gravitas.It works for the big guy, just as it has for the last four seasons.Hurly has consistently been in many top tens from over the years and remains it in for now.Again, Oceanic Six bonus.It sure didn’t’ help banshee-sounding Sun and STD carrying Kate.Man Sawyer sucks.


Locke sucked earlier this year.He wasn’t doing much of anything except tending house in New Otherton (I don’t care for that name).Then we get a great backstory that tells of his destiny since the day he was born.Following that comes a finale the anoints Locke King of the Others/Island.It was a proud day for him I’m sure, but just when you think he can’t get any zanier, well…you know what happens.It blew my stack, and I’m still racking my brains on how they’ll explain it.Locke very well could be in the top 3, but then I think about the stupid episode from season three.Yea, seven works.


He got tons better in his flash forward this season, working as a hired gun for Ben, striking down his enemies.Again, it seems this season is doing a lot to erase season two’s mistakes.No more do I see Sayid as the depressed pussy mourning Shannon, he’s now the revenge seeking super assassin who is gonna return to the island with Jack to save the day.Plus, he gets the Oceanic Six boost.


Though he’s been dead for a long, long time, Christian Shephard still makes this list.Why?Well, everytime he’s on the show (and it’s often), he brings the goods and he brings them hard.Even though he’s not Jacob, we do know that he speaks for him.And he’s still the chief of surgery around here.


He looks like a bum from the streets, but Frank surprised everyone this year.An ace pilot who bleeds Yankee blue, Frank stuck around the whole season playing the role of double agent between the freighter lunatics and the losties.Frank was never too far away from the main plot, and always had a good line to deliver. I wish I could say more, but there isn’t much else to know, other than he was on the freighter because he didn’t believe the story behind the 815 wreckage. Here’s hoping we see more of him next year.


Desmond had a great first couple of episodes and peaked at “The Constant” but we haven’t seen anything from his since.However, his reunion with Penny boosts him right back up.Come on, you know it was a highlight of the series.Besides, he was pushing a button all by himself not long ago, so you have to be happy for his change in fortune.Will he stay sidelined from the island return, will he be the one who lays the final deathblow on pappa-in-law Charles?I tell you what, if he doesn’t show up in the first 4 episodes of season 5, he’s off the list.


The Benjamin Linus of this season finally makes you forget of the sniveling, wimpy Henry Gale of season two.A confirmed supergenius and gazillionaire, Ben comes and goes at will like wizards, and is always thinking miles ahead of everyone else.Outgrowing all of his island rivals (except Jack), Ben gets his great and worthy opponent in Charles Widmore.Their worldwide duel was an especially nice touch this season, and the execution of annoying babe Alex gave Ben the push up to the #2 spot.

Because of unrelenting dominance, Jack (that’s Dr. Shephard to you peons) remains at the top of these ranks, making that four consecutive seasons at #1.This season saw Jack bang Kate (STDs from Sawyer??) against the wall while Aaron was maybe 12 feet away.And not only did he battle an on-island appendectomy, he also dealt problems off the island, such as drugs (pills) and bitches (kate/sun).In between all of that, he still managed to save yet another life in the finale (the 3rd best character on the show, too).Jack still remains the leader throughout, but only if he keeps the beard when he returns to the island!

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