Tuesday, April 28, 2009

URBAN LEGEND: Soccer and the Downfall of America

*Posted October 2, 2008*

Now hear me out.After World War II, the United States was the greatest country in the world.It had just, almost-singlehandedly, defeated Nazi Germany as well as Imperialistic Japan and owned the world’s largest and strongest economy.In the 1950s, America led the battle against communism and its spread throughout the world.The 1960s brought Vietnam and with it the movement toward the left in this country.In a sense, the US has only gone downhill since its height after the second world war.

How does soccer fit in?The soccer boom of the 1970s is evidence of how successful and powerful radical liberalism had become.Pele came to the United States in the mid-seventies to play for the New York Cosmos as part of the North American Soccer League or NASL, since that time, every kid, boy or girl, under the age of twelve has played the sport at one time or another.Some will argue that soccer isn’t popular in this country.Well it really isn’t on the professional level, but even me, a guy who has consistently hated the sport, played it as a youth. Every kid plays it.Let’s look at the sport.You only need a ball to play.Perfect for poor third world countries.In some leagues, they don’t even keep score, and in leagues that they do, everyone gets a trophy.So if you win, and even if you lose, everybody is a “winner.”Sounds like socialism, or at least a country that may be about to elect its most “socialist,” ohhh I mean “liberal” president in its history.

The debate that I believe should surround soccer comes back to the fundamental difference Americans have with each other surrounding our country’s place in the world.It’s the foreign policy debate between realists and idealists.Realism is what this country was founded on.A belief in protecting your homeland at all costs and striving to make your country as isolationist and as powerful as possible.If you have a problem with someone, punch them in the face.Sounds like baseball or football, true American sports in which a team does everything it can to win.Idealism delves into the idea that the interests of your own country lie in the state of the entire world.They believe that Americans are part of a global community, i.e. the United Nations, and that our sole interests revolve around the harmony of the planet.If you have a disagreement with someone, welcome them over with open arms.Sounds like soccer.

How do I answer to some friends who have played a lot, and others that continue to play soccer?You have been caught up in the scheme.It is ok to be a loser.You lose before you win.What do little kids do when a lose a soccer match?If they are in a league where they actually keep score, the kids cry.America doesn’t need criers.There is no crying in baseball or football, or even basketball, unless your JJ Reddick or Adam Morrison.We need to teach our kids that failure is part of life.Not only is soccer so wrong for America in terms of a foreign policy microcosm, but also on a maturity level.

People have said that the only way the ideology of “terrorism” can defeat the United States is if it infiltrates the core of this country.An example would be if a man, who was secretly Muslim, was elected president.That would suck, hope that never happens.What if communists and anti-American Muslims secretly were behind the soccer craze back in the late 1960s and early 1970s?How do we change America from a powerful, individualistic country that has strong traditional values to a weak, community organizing nation that pisses on its once scared beliefs?Let them play soccer.

Special credit given to my uncle who gave me this idea, I just ran with it.

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