Sunday, April 26, 2009

TAKE 5 WITH DOOB: THE WORST OF BATMAN GEAR

5. BATMAN PEPSI LIGHT.


First of all, Pepsi Light was only available in third-world and dangerous countries, it’s a lemon-flavored version of our Diet Coke from the 80s.Although it is difficult to tell, the bottle artwork is in no way faded, but simply produced with weaker paint dyes.You can tell it’s Keaton’s Batman by the jaw line, but by little else.Even the Pepsi marketing explosion via The Phantom Menace featured some discussion of the movie promotion in its packaging.Instead, here’s Batman, hangin’ out on a cheap ass glass Pepsi bottle.Don’t look under that cap—there’s no prize.




4. THE JOKER MAKE-UP KIT.

If anyone remembers plot keys from 1989’s Batman, they’ll remember that the Joker diabolically distributed a line of tainted cosmetics throughout Gotham, capable of transforming the faces of Gotham citizens with horrifying Joker-esque fixed smiles.How hard is it to pick up a white tube of paint, some green hair spray, and a red lipstick around Halloween, though?The Joker Make-Up Kit was marketed unsuccessfully, yet similar Penguin makeup kits were released three years later.







3. BATMAN JEAN JACKET.

Part of me hopes this Batman Returns jean jacket was a parting gift for the gaffers or set designers or something.This fine denim is high-quality and embroidered with appliqué accents, as well as the kind of buttons they make Wal-Mart employees wear whenever the corresponding DVD is released.At this point, in 1992, though, denim was cooler than flannel, which says a lot.But the Dark Knight wears real tuxedos, not Canadian ones.




2. BATMAN TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER


I don’t know what the mechanics of this are, and I think it possibly suctions to the bathroom mirror, but this item was released during the Batman (1989) era.If I was the wiz kid marketing exec behind this contraption, I’d at least make it a Joker toothbrush holder, he consistently had pearly white teeth.Anyway, while Batman was at home, washin’ his tights, we can rest assured that he was brushing his teeth, too.






1. BATMAN CEREAL.


With Keaton’s interpretation of the Dark Knight came a slew of kids-geared marketing, despite the dark, Tim Burton rendering.And cereals in the 90s are like the lunchboxes of the 60s, any hero had his own.I remember having one box of this cereal however, and the batwings scraped the roof of your mouth harder than Cap’n Crunch without milk.Needless to say, though Batman Returns, the cereal doesn’t when the second movie is released.(Also, the top right corner of the box reads, “No Tropical Oils”--- Batman’s kryptonite?)

BONUS: Check out the 1989 commercial!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QUsQ259Ww4Q

No comments: